Well the countdown to start my treatment starts now. I will be getting radiation to my back TOMORROW at 11:30am. The entire procedure will be less than an hour. Crossing my fingers that I really do get quick relief.
Chemo starts THURSDAY, MARCH 7. That is only one week from today!!!! I am terrified, nervous, anxious, hopeful, angry, sad, and a little relieved. I know this will be tough, but all of the crap I need to go through will help get rid of this cancer causing all my pain and stress.
I am ready to take Hudson for walks again. I miss pushing his stroller. Hell, I miss being able to walk down the hallway at school without wincing in pain or rubbing my back. Slowly, I will regain control of MY body and get back to the person I was. Actually I think I will be a better me. Stronger, happier, prouder and impressed that I fought this cancer and kicked its ass! So often throughout this process I was convinced I would not be able to handle things. The biopsies, the appointments full of medical jargon, the needles, the scans, waiting for results, and the surgeries. My mastectomy was so much more painful than I ever thought possible. Thankfully I am years past that, so in comparison, getting pumped full of toxic drugs that just make me feel sick should be a piece of cake. The hardest part for me will be dealing with the hair loss. I will write more about that soon.
Thinking about you, Caity! I am in awe of your strength, courage, and spirit. Your blog puts a definite light on the inside struggles, triumphs, and frustrations of a young married working mother kicking cancer's a**! Stay strong and keep writing :)
ReplyDeleteJill~